How do you know what your children are learning? If they never take tests, or get evaluated, how do you know they've learned anything at all? These are common questions people ask when they find out about unschooling. And the answer is so simple, and easy, I can't believe it eludes them.
I know my children are learning, because I pay attention to them. As unschoolers, I spend a lot of time with my children. I may not always be actively engaged with them, as we don't enjoy all the same activities, but I am always aware of where they are and what they are doing. I pick up on the little cues that tell me they are learning, or have mastered a new skill.
Example 1: Nico has been working on figuring out time for quite a while. He was constantly asking what time is it? how long until? and other such questions to help give himself a better understanding of how time moves. I know he is mastering this skill, because he has stopped asking so many questions, and has started making statements about time. In two hours, it will be... Only five minutes until...
Example 2: This morning Lucas read the number 1100, off the playstation screen. He said "Mommy I scored eleven hundred points!" I didn't know he could read numbers that high, so I walked over to check, and sure enough he had scored 1100 points. Now I know.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Unschooling in the media
I just finished watching a segment about unschooling on The Today Show. If you missed it, check here for the video clip. All in all it showed unschooling in a positive light, which is a huge departure from how it's been shown in the past.
I love the Bentley family in the video. They are a wonderful example of how unschooling works. You can tell from watching the video that those girls know themselves. They know their passions and what they want out of life. And that's what unschooling is all about. Mrs. Bentley seems to share my view of the parent's role in unschooling as well. She says, "I consider myself their facilitator. Bringing the world to them and them to the world." And that is exactly how I see myself when it comes to my children's education.
They say that travel is a big part of unschooling, which leads host Matt Lauer to speculate that only the wealthy can do it. Not true. You don't have to be wealthy to travel, you just have to make good choices. Also traveling doesn't have to mean going out of the country. It can be as simple as driving an hour away to your state park. People who choose to unschool make the choice that travel is important to them, so they make the sacrifices necessary to make it happen.
It was mentioned that unschooling is not right for every family, and to some extent I would agree with that, but not for the reasons they said. It was stated that only children who are self-motivated and self-propelled can be unschooled. I would argue that all children are self-motivated and self-propelled, and it's only after spending years in a classroom, that they start to lose those qualities.
There were a few points made by the 'experts' and by host Matt Lauer that kind of got my blood boiling. Take their many references to the fundamentals. "Will there be gaps in the fundamentals." People, there's a reason they're called the fundamentals. You can't escape learning about them. No matter what your goals and passions are, the basics are there. You don't need to sit in a classroom, eight hours a day, five days a week, for twelve years, to learn them.
One statement that Matt Lauer made, and one of the so-called experts touched on too, was this gem. "If they aren't assessed, how do we judge and compare them to other kids their own age?" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what is most wrong with our school system. This idea that you can only know if a child is learning by comparing them to others. It's not good enough to just compare them against themselves. The idea that only tests and assessments can demonstrate learning is ridiculous.
I love the Bentley family in the video. They are a wonderful example of how unschooling works. You can tell from watching the video that those girls know themselves. They know their passions and what they want out of life. And that's what unschooling is all about. Mrs. Bentley seems to share my view of the parent's role in unschooling as well. She says, "I consider myself their facilitator. Bringing the world to them and them to the world." And that is exactly how I see myself when it comes to my children's education.
They say that travel is a big part of unschooling, which leads host Matt Lauer to speculate that only the wealthy can do it. Not true. You don't have to be wealthy to travel, you just have to make good choices. Also traveling doesn't have to mean going out of the country. It can be as simple as driving an hour away to your state park. People who choose to unschool make the choice that travel is important to them, so they make the sacrifices necessary to make it happen.
It was mentioned that unschooling is not right for every family, and to some extent I would agree with that, but not for the reasons they said. It was stated that only children who are self-motivated and self-propelled can be unschooled. I would argue that all children are self-motivated and self-propelled, and it's only after spending years in a classroom, that they start to lose those qualities.
There were a few points made by the 'experts' and by host Matt Lauer that kind of got my blood boiling. Take their many references to the fundamentals. "Will there be gaps in the fundamentals." People, there's a reason they're called the fundamentals. You can't escape learning about them. No matter what your goals and passions are, the basics are there. You don't need to sit in a classroom, eight hours a day, five days a week, for twelve years, to learn them.
One statement that Matt Lauer made, and one of the so-called experts touched on too, was this gem. "If they aren't assessed, how do we judge and compare them to other kids their own age?" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what is most wrong with our school system. This idea that you can only know if a child is learning by comparing them to others. It's not good enough to just compare them against themselves. The idea that only tests and assessments can demonstrate learning is ridiculous.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Concerts and Comic books
Timmy and I took the boys to the Bob Carr Performing Arts Center to see the Orlando Philharmonic Young People's Concert. Nico and Lucas had never been to a concert like this before, and I wanted to be sure to expose them to it at-least once. The full orchestra was on stage, and we learned all about a few American composers, and what makes music American.
Although I enjoyed the concert, and would like to return again next year, no one else really did. Timmy said we were sitting on the wrong side of the theatre. Too close to the drums and base, and he would rather have been closer to the violins.
Nico sat pretty quietly during most of it, but at the end confessed that he was bored and didn't want to attend anything like this again.
Lucas was restless from the very beginning. Complaining that it was too loud, while all the performers warmed up their instruments. Then he squirmed so much in his seat that I eventually scooped him up onto my lap. He turned his back on the stage, and told me repeatedly that he was all done, and ready to go. He too has said he doesn't want to attend anything like this again.
Ah well, at-least I tried to introduce them to a little culture.
On a side note, I have been thinking for a while about introducing the boys to comic books, hoping it might spark a bit of reading. As luck would have it, one of our neighbors dropped by and gave Timmy a stack of about 60 comic books from the early 90's. They include some Wolverine, Spiderman, Predator, Terminator and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comics. I've left them on a side table in the living room, and Lucas was the first to pick one up.
Yesterday he started thumbing through a Terminator one. Nico wandered over and tried to read it to him. He came across one word that he didn't know, and gave up. (He does the same thing when trying to read a book.) Lucas still likes to look through the comics, so I'm still holding out hope that they may spark some interest in reading. At-least I didn't have to spend any money this time.
Although I enjoyed the concert, and would like to return again next year, no one else really did. Timmy said we were sitting on the wrong side of the theatre. Too close to the drums and base, and he would rather have been closer to the violins.
Nico sat pretty quietly during most of it, but at the end confessed that he was bored and didn't want to attend anything like this again.
Lucas was restless from the very beginning. Complaining that it was too loud, while all the performers warmed up their instruments. Then he squirmed so much in his seat that I eventually scooped him up onto my lap. He turned his back on the stage, and told me repeatedly that he was all done, and ready to go. He too has said he doesn't want to attend anything like this again.
Ah well, at-least I tried to introduce them to a little culture.
On a side note, I have been thinking for a while about introducing the boys to comic books, hoping it might spark a bit of reading. As luck would have it, one of our neighbors dropped by and gave Timmy a stack of about 60 comic books from the early 90's. They include some Wolverine, Spiderman, Predator, Terminator and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comics. I've left them on a side table in the living room, and Lucas was the first to pick one up.
Yesterday he started thumbing through a Terminator one. Nico wandered over and tried to read it to him. He came across one word that he didn't know, and gave up. (He does the same thing when trying to read a book.) Lucas still likes to look through the comics, so I'm still holding out hope that they may spark some interest in reading. At-least I didn't have to spend any money this time.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Letting them figure it out...
It's sometimes hard for me to sit back and just let my kids figure things out for themselves. Especially when I know a quicker, better way of doing things. In those moments, I need to remind myself of how I feel when others try and tell me how to do something that I know I can figure out on my own. (Timmy is particularly fond of giving me driving directions, even though I know where I'm going. I may not always take the quickest route, but I'll get us there eventually.)
When Nico started doing the laundry for me a few weeks ago, I showed him how to turn on the machines. I explained about how to balance the loads, so it doesn't make that loud banging sound. But I never showed him how to fold the clothes once they were dry. That is something I left for him to figure out on his own. This was particularly hard for me, since I banished Timmy from helping with the laundry years ago, because I hated the way he folded my clothes.
Let me tell you, Nico has come up with some creative ways of folding. He only does the kids' clothes, so I refrain from re-folding everything my way. I'm trying to remind myself that my way, isn't always right for everyone, and I need to let my kids find their way of doing things.
When Nico started doing the laundry for me a few weeks ago, I showed him how to turn on the machines. I explained about how to balance the loads, so it doesn't make that loud banging sound. But I never showed him how to fold the clothes once they were dry. That is something I left for him to figure out on his own. This was particularly hard for me, since I banished Timmy from helping with the laundry years ago, because I hated the way he folded my clothes.
Let me tell you, Nico has come up with some creative ways of folding. He only does the kids' clothes, so I refrain from re-folding everything my way. I'm trying to remind myself that my way, isn't always right for everyone, and I need to let my kids find their way of doing things.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Allowance
A couple weeks ago, Nico asked if he could start receiving a weekly allowance. I told him most kids who get an allowance do something around the house to earn it.
After some discussion, Nico and I agreed on $5 a week in exchange for him doing the laundry. (Not all the laundry, just the kid's clothes.) Lucas wanted to get in on this whole allowance thing as well, and we agreed on $2 a week for dusting.
It's been three weeks, and they haven't given up on it yet. As I'm typing this Nico is putting his clothes in the dryer, and getting ready to start a second load in the washer. I really thought this would be another passing interest, like everything else they do, and I am pleasantly surprised. It's nice to have a little help around the house, even if I do have to pay for it.
After some discussion, Nico and I agreed on $5 a week in exchange for him doing the laundry. (Not all the laundry, just the kid's clothes.) Lucas wanted to get in on this whole allowance thing as well, and we agreed on $2 a week for dusting.
It's been three weeks, and they haven't given up on it yet. As I'm typing this Nico is putting his clothes in the dryer, and getting ready to start a second load in the washer. I really thought this would be another passing interest, like everything else they do, and I am pleasantly surprised. It's nice to have a little help around the house, even if I do have to pay for it.
Monday, September 12, 2011
On Religion
One of the things I am most grateful to my parents for, is the fact that they never forced any one religion on me. Growing up, we were not made to read the bible, or go to church weekly, but neither were we forbidden from it. I attended church many times with various friends. I knew of Christianity, I knew the stories, and I guess I kind of believed by default for part of my childhood just because I had never sat down to think about it. When I was about eight years old is when I knew, with out a doubt, that those stories were just that, stories. I didn't label myself an atheist (openly and proudly) until well into my adult years, but I knew I was one.
When I had children of my own, I knew I wanted to give them the same open freedom of religion that I had while growing up. Although my kids have never been to church, (they have been to Buddhist temples) they know of god, because our society is saturated with religion. They know of heaven and hell, angels and the devil. They both have told me that they believe in god, and I have never tried to discourage that. But neither have I hid the fact that I do not believe in god, heaven, hell, or angels. We have had open and frank discussions, and always have I left my children free to find their own beliefs.
Last night I had an interesting conversation with Nico. He tells me, "By the way mommy, I'm religious now." It kind of caught me off guard because it was so out of the blue. I asked if he knew what being religious meant, and he said yes. So I asked what makes him think he is religious now, and he said because he no longer believes in god.
"No, no, no honey, you're confused. Religious is when you do believe in god, and you follow a specific religion, adhering to their tenets and following their holy text. I think you mean you are atheist now, because that is when you don't believe in god."
"Oh, yeah, I'm an atheist now."
"So what makes you think there is no god?"
"I just don't see any proof anywhere."
"So you've been thinking about it, and looking for proof?"
"Yes."
"You know I was about eight years old when I realized that I was an atheist."
"Well I'm just under that."
Here's the thing. He's only seven. He has a long life to live, and many, many more years to think and study religion. The significant thing to me, is that he is thinking about it, and coming to his own conclusions.
When I had children of my own, I knew I wanted to give them the same open freedom of religion that I had while growing up. Although my kids have never been to church, (they have been to Buddhist temples) they know of god, because our society is saturated with religion. They know of heaven and hell, angels and the devil. They both have told me that they believe in god, and I have never tried to discourage that. But neither have I hid the fact that I do not believe in god, heaven, hell, or angels. We have had open and frank discussions, and always have I left my children free to find their own beliefs.
Last night I had an interesting conversation with Nico. He tells me, "By the way mommy, I'm religious now." It kind of caught me off guard because it was so out of the blue. I asked if he knew what being religious meant, and he said yes. So I asked what makes him think he is religious now, and he said because he no longer believes in god.
"No, no, no honey, you're confused. Religious is when you do believe in god, and you follow a specific religion, adhering to their tenets and following their holy text. I think you mean you are atheist now, because that is when you don't believe in god."
"Oh, yeah, I'm an atheist now."
"So what makes you think there is no god?"
"I just don't see any proof anywhere."
"So you've been thinking about it, and looking for proof?"
"Yes."
"You know I was about eight years old when I realized that I was an atheist."
"Well I'm just under that."
Here's the thing. He's only seven. He has a long life to live, and many, many more years to think and study religion. The significant thing to me, is that he is thinking about it, and coming to his own conclusions.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Terrified!!
Nico absolutely terrified me last night.
I was working, and I always keep my cell phone on silent while I'm working. Most nights I don't even look at it until I get off work, but last night was slow. I snuck into the bathroom and had planned on sending a text to my darling husband. Instead I see two missed calls from Home, and two new voice mails.
Right away this sets off alarms. We never use our home phone, Timmy always calls from his cell. The first voice mail is only six seconds long, and all I hear is a bit of whimpering. The second voicemail is 47 seconds long. The first five or so nothing, then I hear Nico, in a scared, pathetic voice say "Please, pick up!" and then for thirty seconds it's quiet whimpers.
OMG!! I was freaking out. It's 11:30 pm, and those voice mails were left at 9:45 pm. I was so close to running out the door, but I stopped long enough to call Timmy's cell. If he hadn't answered, I was out of there.
But, Timmy picks up with "Hey Baby, what's up!" I'm like, "You tell me, is everything ok?" and I explain about the voicemail. Then I hear him yell to Nico, "You told me you didn't call Mommy!"
I was like, what the fuck happened?
So here's the story. The boys went to their rooms at 9, like they always do for "bed time". Timmy, about 9:30 took the dog out for a walk, and then stopped at the tennis court so he could run and stretch his legs for a bit. The boys, came out of their rooms, and I guess thought Timmy had just up and left them. So they freaked out, and called me.
I don't know why they didn't notice the dog wasn't in the house either? Why they didn't just look out their window and see his car was still there? Or why they went out the front door looking for him, when it was locked from the inside and we always use our back door anyways? And at-least they called me instead of 911, and at-least I know they know how to call me if they need to.
But I tell you what, I don't ever, EVER, want to hear another voice mail like that again! EVER!!
*****UPDATE*****
So the boys just confessed to me that they knew Timmy had taken the dog out for a walk. But when he didn't come back right away, they feared he, and the dog, had been eaten by an alligator, and that's why they freaked out.
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