Perspective

It's so interesting watching my two boys. They live in the same home, have the same parents, and pretty much do everything together day in and day out. Yet they each have completely different perspectives.

Nico is all about the big picture. He sees things as a whole, and doesn't care much about the details. He is very logical and passionate.

Lucas is all about the details. He seeks out patterns and is more emotional and sensitive.

They tend to argue, a lot! They just don't seem to understand how two people can look at the same thing, and each see something unique. I feel like I am constantly telling them both that what is true for one, may not be true for all. It's a difficult concept to grasp (one most adults are still struggling with).

Some day I hope they are able to really understand each other. Being able to share the world through someone else's perspective can open up new wonders, that may be missed on your own.

Shadow puppets, plays on words, questions explored

Lately Nico has been obsessed with shadow puppets. Anytime there is a light source available, he can't help but make shapes fly across the wall. His shadow puppets mostly consist of birds, a butterfly, and a dog. But he's getting better and better each time.

He's also developing new aspects of his sense of humor. He's starting to appreciate plays on words. The other day, after drawing all over his face with markers, a lady stopped by our table at dinner to tell us how adorable the boys were. I looked at Nico and said he sure did draw a lot of attention to himself. He replied, "Yeah I do 'draw' attention to myself." He's also noticing when other people make a play on words. A cartoon this morning showed the biggest 'meat'eor, made out of a giant meatball. Nico laughed and laughed.

Last week, Lucas asked why your body leaned the opposite direction when going around a turn in the car. This lead to a great conversation about movement, motion, and inertia. Lucas also likes to ponder a lot of 'what ifs'. He comes up with these crazy scenarios and wonders what if that actually happened. For instance, "What if someone was stupid enough to drive on the wrong side of the road?" (All his what ifs involve stupid people for some reason.)

It's getting to be that time of year again...

The public/private schools are coming to a close. Shutting down for summer break. The parks and libraries are going to become over crowded for the duration of the summer. Parents will be trying to cram all those things they wish they could do the rest of the year, into just a few weeks. We'll be staying home more, avoiding the hordes of people. I like the quiet, calm of an empty weekday park, and I'll miss it until August.

Lately several of my friends with kids in public schools have been boasting about their child's achievements. Honor roll awards; reading and math awards; attendance awards; behavior awards. Awards aplenty. I admit I felt a slight pang of regret as I realized my boys will never receive such an award. They will never feel that moment of pride, standing in front of their entire class, grasping that piece of paper. (Nor will they ever feel the sting of humiliation of having not won an award, when all their friends have.) After all, those types of arbitrary achievements were a large part of my own childhood. I can't tell you how many honor roll awards I racked up in school.

But after allowing myself to feel regret, I moved past it to look at the bigger picture. It's not as though my boys never have moments they can be proud of. Every time they finish a project, or master a new skill, they beam with pride. As they grow and delve into more difficult areas of study, they will have opportunities to win real awards, that actually have meaning. School is not the only place to achieve success. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

How painting has evolved.

My boys have had access to paints of some kind since they were just wee toddlers. For the most part, they are abstract painters. Splashing colors on paper with random sweeps of the brush is way more fun than trying to create something recognizable.

A year or two ago Nico started trying to make sense with his brush strokes. He painted a series of portraits, including a self portrait, of our entire family, which has been proudly displayed above my computer. He likes to paint flowers and rainbows for me as well.

This morning Lucas made the leap into structured painting. With his water colors paint set, he created a very colorful alien, with claws. Then decided to paint a person saying something, in a cave, but the cave turned out to be inside a monsters stomach. He used the paints to tell a story, something he has never done before. I always just give them the paint and paper, and let them go. I never try and structure their work, or give them guidelines, other than keep the paint on the paper.

From their very first fingerpaints, to their newest water color creations, I have always proudly framed and displayed their works of art through out our home. Nico once asked if he could put his stuff in an art gallery, and since I couldn't do that for him, I've turned our home into his own personal gallery (well one he shares with Lucas).

I enjoy painting as well. I'm not great at it, but I'm decent enough. One of the things I like to do is paint on glass around the house. It's easily removed, and I can change the painting as often as I like, so I'm not stuck looking at the same thing all the time. I do a lot of holiday, or seasonal images, and sometimes I paint things for the boys to enjoy. I recently took down my winter scene, and replaced it with a field of sunflowers, beside a duck pond, to brighten up the house a bit. Nico wanted to paint his own scene, so I allowed him to remove my Spy vs Spy, so he could use the sliding glass door as his canvas. He had his own vision of what he wanted to paint, so I gave him the paints, and left him alone. About an hour later I had this beautiful sunset painted on my glass.

Painting isn't a passion for any of us, but it's a casual hobby that we all share. Looking around my house I can see how their skills have evolved from the earliest finger paints to the complex sunset. I can't wait to see what they can create in another five years, ten years, twenty years, if they continue to develop their skills.

Those weird home-schooled kids!

Yes, my boys are becoming those weird home-schooled kids, and it's not just because of the purple and blue hair.

They are free to express themselves any way they want. Lately this involves coloring on themselves with pens and markers. Especially since Nico has decided he wants to be a tattoo artist, and so needs to practice his body art.

Today we went to my husband's company picnic, and the boys had marker all over their faces. Lucas and Nico both have a mustache and goatee drawn on, and Nico drew on a pair of glasses too. When mixed with their blue and purple hair, the effect is....I'm not even sure how to describe it. I think one initial reaction was "Oh, wow!"

During the picnic I mentioned to Timmy that from this day on the boys will forever be known, by his co-workers, as those weird home-schooled kids. He then told me they already had that reputation. Ah well, good to know they are living up to expectations!

It's only hair!

A couple years ago when Nico asked if he could shave his head bald, I said sure, it's only hair, it will grow back.

So off came it all. The next couple weeks were horrible for him. He was teased and picked on for the first time in his life. People looked at him differently, and treated him differently because he was bald. But, like I said, it did eventually grow back, and I think he learned a lot from the experience. You can't know why it's not right to pick on others, until you have been picked on. Whenever he starts in about the way someone else looks or acts, I remind him of how he felt during that episode of baldness. He didn't like it, not one bit.


Fast forward to the present. The other day he asked if he could color his hair blue. Of course I said yes, after all it's only hair! Since Nico was doing his hair blue, Lucas wanted to color his hair red. They were out of the red hair dye though, so Lucas settled for purple. We applied the color last night, and it looks great! The purple on Lucas looks almost natural. The blue could never be mistaken for natural, but it totally fits with Nico's personality.


We haven't yet left the house, so we haven't encountered other people (friends or strangers). I'm not sure how others are going to react. I do know, good or bad, both boys will likely learn from this experience, just as Nico learned from his past experimentation.

Dating: ALREADY!!

The other day in the car Nico started talking to me about dating. How old do you have to be to start dating? Where do you go and what do you do on a date? If he gives a girl my phone number, will I let him talk when she calls?

He's only seven! Luckily he's just curious, and has quite a while before this evolves into more than just a discussion on the topic. He still thinks kissing is mostly yucky.

I handled this conversation the same way I handle all our conversations, with frank honesty. Most people aren't allowed to date until about 15-17, although some start as early as 13. He can date whenever he wants, but only with supervision until he is much older. Most people just hang out and talk while on a date. They go out and do fun things, and generally just enjoy spending time with each other.

We talked a bit about breaking up, and how it's not always as easy as one would think. Unless both people want to break up, someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

There's no need to lock up your daughters just yet. He doesn't have any particular girl in mind that he wants to start dating. I got the feeling he was just filing this information away for later use.