Sunday, November 28, 2010

5 more days

Five more days until the chaos returns. It will mark the end of a 52 day trip for the boys. Nico is no stranger to long trips away. In fact, for him, this was the second long trip this year. Back in March he went to Taiwan with his other grandparents for two months.

For Lucas, this was his first time spending more than one night away from me. At first, I was a little concerned, since he is generally pretty clingy to me. He proved to be every bit as independent as his brother, though.

The boys are having a fabulous time, and really getting to know themselves, and their grandparents. I have come to the conclusion that it is a wonderful thing my kids can so easily be apart from me and their dad. I want them to be strong individuals, who know they have the love and support of those around them, while mainly relying on their inner strengths. It is not healthy to become too dependent on any one person, or people, in ones life. I may not always be around, and I feel a lot better knowing that they can be happy with out me.

With all that said, this trip has been a whole lot harder on me, than I ever anticipated. I think I have come to rely too much on my boys. I have missed them, oh how I have missed them. But I have also missed the friends that we've made together. If it weren't for my boys, I wouldn't have but one or two friends. Because of them I have met so many wonderful people, and I can't wait to start getting out of the house on a regular basis again.

Trips like this are great for the boys, but they're also good for me. I've realized that I need to start pursuing my own passions again (if only I could figure out what those passions are!).

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